My Darkest Memories
by RequiemofKingdomHearts
Summary: A KH AU fic. When she was about ten, Kairi's parents got divorced. Kairi and her sisters, Xion and Namine, started to experience painful events in their aunt's house, where their father moved. Now she relives her darkest memories. ***Please review :D*** ***TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIMS*** ***CANCELLED*** ***CAN BE REVIVED OR ADOPTED***
1. 9: The Start of it All

There was a time where I liked my cousin, Vanitas. It was in my youth, but I did actually like him back then. My twin sister, Namine, and younger sister, Xion, did as well. Because of our own childish naivete back then, we even were friends with the boy. Around my tenth birthday, all of our views on our cousin changed.

* * *

Our dad, Leon, just divorced from our mother, Yuffie. It was troubling times to say the least, so our dad stayed at his sister's, Tifa, house who had four sons named Sora, Vanitas, Roxas, and Ventus. Their father was named Cloud. Yuffie bought her own apartment nearby since she didn't want us to suffer that much. Our parents had shared custody of the three of us girls.

We were at my aunt's house, where our rooms were at. Namine, Xion, and I all shared a room. They slept on a bunk bed while I had a twin bed. The rooms of our walls had wallpaper on them that was pink and covered with roses. There was a big window right by my bed that overlooked the front garden of the wooden house. I liked to look out of it, for it smoothed me to keep watch over the birds and bees during these stressful times. My bed had a pink sheet, and all of my blankets were different shades of purple. Purple was my favorite color back then.

Namine loved the color white, so everything on her bed was, well, white. From her stuffed animal to her pillows, everything was patterned in beautiful white fabrics. She had the upper bunk because Namine was older than Xion. Xion, on the other hand, liked purple like me, so our beds were alike in many ways. The eight year old girl had a toy like Namine to keep her company in her sleep though. I remember this toy very clearly, for it actually scared the daylights out of me. Something about dolls always made a shiver crawl up my spine. It's smile seemed to be forced as well. Her hair was red as blood while her dress was like Namine's, completely white.

My dad was in the next room over, and there was only a bathroom between us, making it easy to get him. That certainly proved useful for the troubling times ahead.

* * *

"Hey Kairi," Vanitas welcomed. "So...what do you want to do?" My cousin was one and a half years older than me, so he was already twelve. We were going to the same middle school in the next month, so I was excited to know that four people could help me around and get new friends.

"I'm going to go to my room, to finish packing," responded I. I ran over to my room, and Vanitas followed me. It wasn't weird though since his room was right across from mine. He shared it with Ventus, his twin brother, and Sora and Roxas had the room next to theirs. I hadn't been in their rooms at all.

* * *

When I entered my room, I found that Namine and Xion had finished unpacking everything. Namine, on her bed, was drawing something in her notepad, but it was too early on for me to tell what it was. Xion was playing with her short black hair, clearly bored. "Hey, Kairi, do you want to do something together?" my younger sister asked. "Namine won't do anything with me. Dad is still at court fighting against mommy."

"Sorry Xion, but I still have to unpack. Maybe you can ask your cousins."

"Okay, I will." My younger sister ran out of the room, holding her creepy doll. She accidentally slammed the door behind her, and I sighed at all the work I had to do.

"Should've done it sooner instead of exploring, Kairi," Namine said.

"Shut up."

* * *

I luckily finished with my unpacking in about two hours, and Namine was still working on her sketch. It looked like Xion. "Hey, Namine, do you want to play in the backyard together?"

"No, I'm busy doing this." She erased a mistake that she made, and Namine pushed her eraser shaving onto the floor. I sighed once again.

"You know that you're going to have to clean that up later."

"Kairi, I always clean it up later." Before I could talk to her some more, Namine focused on her drawing yet again, letting nothing disturb her. I opened up the door and closed it behind me.

"Maybe I can look after Xion now. Hopefully one of the boys took care of her after all this time."

* * *

Xion was exploring the backyard with Sora. They seemed to be having fun, and Xion looked like she was finally over with what happened with our parents months ago. The backyard of this house was huge. If I had to guess, this could have been an actual forest. I was pretty sure that Aunt Tifa told us stories about all the deer that hanged out here during the spring and summer seasons.

"Hey, Kairi, do you want to join us?" Sora asked. Sora was actually only a few months younger than me, so I always got along with him the easiest. His spiky brown hair amused me because it always stayed the same way. Once, when I was five, Namine, Vanitas, and I all pranked Sora be pouring water all over him in his sleep. He woke up seconds later, and his hair was still exactly the same. Vanitas said it was because of all the damn hairspray Sora put in it.

"Sora, I think Kairi's deep in thought again," Xion said. "Come on, let's go. We can see if there's any deer out! Don't worry, some of them like to stay for a little bit longer before they head over to somewhere that's warmer than the Bay Area. CA can get _really_ cold down here."

"Wait, guys, I want to come to!" I rushed towards them, so we all began searching the backyard together, pretending to be explorers mapping out a new land. My cousin Sora never failed to put a smile on my face. But, about half way through the forest, he sat down on a fallen tree stump, so Xion and I did as well. Trees surrounded everywhere we looked, and their leaves were starting to be different colors of reds and yellows. Some leaves littered the ground, making it extremely colorful. Namine would have loved to see this.

"I think Vanitas is acting weird again," he told us. "Today I found him in his room playing around with fire. He was lighting random pieces of paper on fire, but, when I looked closer, they looked like drawings of weird stuff."

"Like what type of weird stuff?" This made me intrigued, for I always need that Vanitas liked playing around with fire. He even admitted it to me back when I was five.

"I don't know. There were a lot of circles though."

"That's strange," commented Xion. "Well, let's head back. I think dad is coming home soon, and I don't want him to be scared."

"Xion, let's just go a little bit longer." Rolling her eyes, Xion got up along with us. We continued down the path that Sora was making us go on.

* * *

Then it was night already, and all of us were back at the house, in our rooms. Our dad returned home hours ago. He made sure that Namine, Xion, and I went to bed, so he tucked us in real tightly. Leon even told a bedtime story to Xion, making her fall to sleep insantly. Namine was asleep also, but I stayed awake. Something inside me told me it wasn't 'safe' to go to sleep yet. I looked out my window to look at all of the fireflies lighting up the night sky with their yellow color.

When I was about to go asleep, I felt someone poke me. "Namine, Xion, if any of you are doing that, please stop it. I'm trying to go asleep." It continued. I heard both of my sisters snoring, so I tilted my head slowly to see who it was. Before I could get a glimpse of anything, the person dashed the hell out of there. "That was weird." I couldn't see anything clearly because of how dark it was.

Thinking nothing of it, I allowed myself to finally drift into sleep.


	2. 9: The Calm Before the Storm

I told myself it was sleep paralysis or a nightmare. Probably a nightmare since I moved. Like one of those messed up nightmares that tricks you into thinking it's real life, and, in reality, it wasn't. Nobody would sneak into my room at night and poke me. Why would anyone do that anyways? I, being the naive kid I was, decided not to tell anyone about my experience. It had to be a one night only thing.

* * *

Namine shook my body, for it was finally the first day of school. Lucky Xion didn't start school until September. Her school was almost finished with repairs, so the board decided to delay the beginning of school. Our younger sister stayed asleep, and I knew she had to be one of the heaviest sleepers in all of Earth.

"Why are you waking me up at five in the morning?" I questioned, rubbing my purple-blue eyes. When I waked up to the mirror near the bed, I noticed that my red hair was all over the place. It wasn't as bad as the bed hair my blonde sister had though. I was shocked that I held in my laughter, but Namine glared at me still. Namine always did have a special ability to tell what exactly I was feeling at any given time. Power of twins I guess.

"You asked me to, remember? A few days back?" She grabbed a hair brush off her and Xion's dresser, which was to the right side of the bed, and began to straighten it out. "Every first day of school you always want to look your best, Kairi."

"I know that ,Namine, but I told you at six!"

"Well...I thought you would've liked more time because we're new and all here." Looking in my own white dresser, I picked out my outfit. The closet was still being cleaned out, so we had to use them for storage. For today, I picked out a simple purple dress that exposed my shoulder and went down to my knees. It was patterned with the occasional lilac on the bottom half. Lastly, I got my purple towel.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I walked into the bathroom, and then turned on the shower. It probably woke dad up since it was so loud. In the bathroom, there was only one window with a cover over it. The walls were alike to the ones in my one. Instead of roses, these were lilacs. I liked this room better, for my favorite flower was clearly lilacs. In a hurry, I took off all my clothes and began my quick shower. My hair didn't dry out easily, so I had to make sure I had enough time to blow dry it.

* * *

After the shower, I, with a purple towel around my body, looked in the mirror edged with actual gold and used the blow dryer. It's warm air touched the tips of my pale, sensitive skin on my neck and head. "I can't believe how rich my aunt Tifa really is."

"Hey, Kairi, can you hurry up? I want to take a shower too!" shouted Namine from the other room.

"Alright, I will, so can you just wait a moment?" I quickly changed into my dress. "Can you tell me what time it is please?"

"5:10 AM, I guessed you rushed like always." My body was still a little wet, but it was nothing I couldn't manage. So, I opened the door and Namine rushed inside.

"Do you need to use the restroom or something?"

"Yes." She slammed the door shut when I was only a couple feet away. Rolling my eyes, I went over to my dresser, and I looked at the shoes I laid near it. I pick out the sandals. They were a simple white, but there was a lilac, of course, where the midfoot and toe strap met. I ran over to my mirror again to apply makeup, for I noticed that there were bags under my eyes.

"Just one night of not sleeping well and this is what I get...great," I responded. There was a little nightstand under my mirror, so I used it as a makeup mirror. I take out my blush and started to apply it to my face. After a few seconds, I heard Namine turn the water on.

"Kairi, why didn't you warn me it was cold?" she asked.

"I didn't find it cold at all though."

"You've always been weird."

"We're sisters, and that means we'll always think that the other one is weird, you know," I said. I put the blush away and took out some lip gloss. Like Namine with her brush, my hands flew swiftly across my pink lips to color them a shade of darker pink. That was all the makeup I applied for I didn't want to go overboard on my first day here. People might have thought I was an attention seeking whore.

"Kairi, exactly what time is it now?"

"We're more alike than you think, Namine." I looked over to the alarm clock which was on Namine and Xion's dresser. It was just black, and the letters glowed a faint green. "It's 5:30."

"Seriously?" Namine was clearly rushing now, for I could hear her make a lot of sound. "Shit!"

"Namine..." I heard my dad from the room over. "Don't ever use that word again." My mind tried to stop me from laughing, but I did it anyways. That was just too good.

"Sorry dad," she said, voice shaking. I tossed my pink backpack onto my back, and then flipped my hair a little bit.

* * *

After the both of us finished getting ready, aunt Tifa and my dad had the brilliant idea to take a picture of all the people entering sixth grade, Namine, Sora, and I to be exact. Namine was wearing simple white jeans with holes in them, and a white t-shirt with golden edges. She had a white jacket in her hands, which were even paler than mine, and Namine had a white rolling backup. Her shoes were white boots. They only had tiny heels on them. Sora, on the other hand, also wore thorn jeans, but they were blue like normal ones. His shirt was a tank top designed with black, blue, and red strips all over it. He only had the usual backpack colored black. I expected something more out there from that cousin, but I was shocked to see this.

"Can you hurry up?" Vanitas complained, looking at his phone. I did always find Vanitas' yellow eyes creepy, but Sora told me he always wore contacts. Without them, my older black haired cousin was basically blind as a bat in the sunlight. "I don't want to be late."

"You usually don't care about being late," Ventus responded, smirking. "What's with the sudden change of heart? Uncle Squall, I guess you shouldn't take two hours just taking photos of your two girls, or a certain somebody will start getting moody."

"Alright," my dad answered, his iphone in his hand. The three of us young ones posed together, and then we smiled when aunt Tifa told us so. This took twenty freaking minutes. Vanitas played on his phone the whole time, and Ventus amused himself by watching us be tortured by the older generation.

* * *

That was hell, or at least that was how hell was to me at the time. When we arrived at school, I rush to my first class, not taking a single second to observe my surroundings. It was classroom A102, and I asked a random staff member where it was. Luckily, I got there in time, and I noticed that there were name tags on all of our desks. My desk was in the front row, in the middle.

"Hello, Kairi Leonhart," welcomed my teacher. She had curvy brown hair tied neatly in a pink bow, and there was a green orb there as well. My teacher had calming green eyes as well. Her outfit was dominated by pink, but the young adult's jacket stood out the most. "My name's Aerith Gainsborough, your new English teacher and home room."

"Hi." There were a couple of other kids in the class, yet all of them sat in the back. I sighed.

"Don't worry, I'm sure all the others will come sooner or later." Bored, I used to time to observe my surroundings, and I found nothing special. There were projects from previous years all over the walls, and the white paint hardly shone through the overcrowded walls. There were about thirty desks made from hard wood. A whiteboard and projector were at the front of the room, so the teacher's desk was nearby. Ms. Gainsborough's desk was clean, and there were vases of flowers all over it.

* * *

The bell rang, and all the seats around me were filled with young children like me. I wanted to get this day over with, for I wasn't ever a big fan of school and learning all this crap. We're never going to use it again in our lives.

"Alright, class, I want to welcome you all to English 1, and I'm, as you should know, Ms. Aerith Gainsborough, your teacher. Today, we're all just going to introduce ourselves and make new friends." Rolling my eyes, I thought about how the first day of school was always the same thing over and over again. It's boring as all hell.

* * *

With that boredom out of the way, I breezed through all my classes until lunch time. I knocked into Sora, who I noticed was hanging out with an upper classman.

"Hey, cuz! Oh, I should introduce you to Riku, my best friend, and he's in seventh grade! How crazy is that?"

"Hello...I think it's Kairi. Sora wouldn't shut up about Namine, Xion, or you all throughout summer and even today." Riku had white hair, and I guessed it was dyed. Like who seriously had naturally white hair at that age? His blue were blue with tints of green in them, and his skin was pale. For his clothing, he wore simple baggy jeans and a yellow tank top.

"Well, it's been nice to meet you, Riku," I said, holding out my hand. He shook it, so I noticed the black gloves on his medium sized hands. "Do you mind if I step out for a bit? I'm going to find Namine somewhere."

* * *

We're going back home now. I don't really remember a lot from my first day of middle school, but it was the start of a domino effect. For example, that was the day I meet Riku. He was about the only person I really wanted to become friends with in the middle school, which name was Destiny Middle, so far. All of us did our homework while Xion and Roxas, who was the same age as her, played outside. The warm weather was slowly fading away at this point.

* * *

When it was about 10 at night, all of us went to our beds again. At this point, I didn't care about the mysterious figure that poked me a couple weeks ago. Namine and Xion were asleep again, and I just stared outside. No fireflies were out tonight. My blue eyes gazed the starts, so I was in awe of their natural beauty. All my life I wished to be like a star which shines bright until the day it finally dies. Then I would go with a bang, my legacy being seen by anyone who looks up to the sky on a night like this.

I closed my eyes, and I actually didn't have any dreams. It was a rather peaceful sleep.


	3. 9: Reality's Darkness

It had been a couple of weeks since I began school. By this time, I was Riku's friend, and the girls who sat next to me in English class were my friends as well. Their names were Alice and Serah. It seemed like it was going to be a good year, but the memory of that man poking me lingered in my mind. That must have been a nightmare, right? If it was, then it was the worst one I ever had.

* * *

Once again, it was time for bed, and Xion was hesitant to. Tomorrow was going to be her first day of school in fourth grade after all.

"So, what are you playing?" I asked, trying to sneak a peek on the screen. Xion's blue eyes were basically glued on the screen of her rather old DS.

"The Heart of Kingdoms," Xion finally answered. "Let me finish this one level please! I'm going to see if Shion gets her chainsaw back or not." I glared at her, for I couldn't believe that our overprotective dad bought her a game with chainsaws. Considering I couldn't even wear perfume, I felt slightly jealous towards my younger sister.

"You should go to bed soon. Don't want to wake up tomorrow and feel like you've been hit by a train," Namine recommended. She climbed the brown ladder that lead to her bed, and Namine let her feet dangle. "Or I might have to tell you another scary story. The story of the Headless Horseman!" I turned off the lights and locked the door on her signal, and Namine grabbed out her flashlight she kept on her bed for emergencies.

"Okay, I'll go to bed." Xion pouted as she put her head on her fluffy pillow. She turned against us, and I stroll over to my own bed.

"Oh, Kairi are there any boys you like?" questioned Namine while talking like a T.V game show host. Namine did like to do that a lot, and I never really understood why. Eagerness was in her blue eyes.

"No-"

"There has to be at least one person out there. For me, Axel is so _cute_! Even if he's a P.E nut, Axel is the hottest boy at school, and he'll always will be."

"I don't really like him. He says get it memorized too much, and, quite frankly, it annoys the crap out of me. Why would I want to have a crush on somebody that's really older than me anyways?" I fall onto my bed, and then I gave all my blankets. This was the time of year that this place started to get freezing.

"Is there a feud against red heads or something?" Namine retorted. Xion covered her ears with her pillow and sighed. "If there is, that would explain a lot of things."

"Shut up. Sometimes you can be so annoying Namine. You seem to forget that you're one too. Unlike you, I don't dye my hair," I said. My face landed into the pillow, so I absorbed all of its softness. It felt like Heaven on Earth.

"Isn't it our job to see who can get on the most nerves? That's what sisters are for." Before going to sleep, Namine put out her notebook and began drawing. I wondered how she even did that since there was very little light in our small room.

"You know, I wonder why Xion's school starts on a Friday."

"Since the Board of Education did a shit job this year. It does a bad job every year in my eyes." Namine placed her notebook underneath her pillow again, and when she hit the pillow, the blonde was fast asleep. Her snoring was always a hard thing to overcome.

"Kairi, can you tell me a story?" Before I heard Xion, I passed out on my bed. It was probably since my class had to run four miles. That was a horrible day to accidentally leave your inhaler at home.

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night. My back was facing the window, so I couldn't see anything that was behind me. It was really dark outside because there weren't that many stars out. Then I froze when I felt someone sniffing my red hair. "Who...whose doing this?" A pale arm covered my eyes, and then another one went over my mouth. I struggled to get free from this person, even trying to bite their hand off me. "Xion...Namine."

Nobody answered. I still couldn't be heard.

My attacker then tried to pull down my pants, but I used to legs to kick him. I could feel some of my white underwear showing though, only the very top of it. This moment I prayed that one of my sisters or my father would save me. Even if I had no idea what this person was doing, my mind knew that it wasn't right. The person than began to drag me on my carpet floor.

"..." The person told me something, but I couldn't hear anything. Then I could see again. Namine, having woken up because of all the sound, threw one of her pillows at my attacker.

"Vanitas, you freak!" she shouted, preparing her only other pillow. "Get off my sister now!" I heard the door to our room close.

"Oh my God, what just happened?"

"I'm going to get dad," Namine said. My sister turned on the light and rushed into the other room. I hadn't ever saw her run that fast in my life.

"Kairi, what did Vanitas do?" Xion questioned. I didn't even notice my younger sister was awake, for she usually wasn't disturbed by anything like I told you before. "Was he trying to hurt you?"

"He did _what_?" my father screamed from the other room, fury in his voice. "I'm going to get Tifa right now." His stomps traveled all the way across the hallway, and he slammed the door shut.

"What happened here?" Sora, Ventus, and Roxas stormed into my room, so I noticed the door was unlocked. That was weird, for I remembered I locked the door shut. "Kairi...you look like hell."

"Vanitas did something to her," explained Xion to her best ability. Ventus' eyes widened.

"Hey, brother, come out from your room! You've some to tell us some answers!" Ventus demanded. "Did he really want to something like that to her?"

"Something like what?"

"Xion, you'll learn when you're older." Ventus left my room and entered Vanitas'. He shut it shortly afterwards. After that, I looked at the clock to read that it was one in the morning.

* * *

The rest of the night was a blur to me. Probably because I was scared throughout it. There was a lot of fighting though, and Tifa seemed to be pretty mad at her son. I still wondered what exactly he tried to do.

At school, I found Serah outside the A section of the school. There was a staircase to the right of us, and there were some staff only restrooms there too. Many trees were decorating the place. Their leaves weren't off the floor yet, so my feet made a crushing sound whenever they landed. It was a fairly simple place that most students didn't hang out at. Because of that, I usually meet my friends here for lunch and break.

* * *

"You look awful, Kairi," Serah commented. As usual, my friend's pink hair was tied in a high, side ponytail with a ribbon, this one white. She was wearing a vest over a long sleeved pink shirt. Her skirt was short and white. The high socks on her pale legs were pink and reached all the way to her knees. There was a lot of make up on her innocent face.

"Something happened last night."

"What?" she asked. "I mean, you don't have to tell me, but I want to help you. Seeing you like this makes me sad."

I explained to her all that happened, for I trusted her. Vanitas wasn't viewed in the same light ever again.

"Where's Alice anyways?" I asked, hoping for an answer.

"I honestly have no idea. She might be in class already even if it isn't starting in a long time." Suddenly, I saw Vanitas coming my way with his friend, Larxene, so I grabbed Serah's hand and ran out of there. Talking to that stalker was the last thing I wanted to do.

* * *

Once again, I didn't remember much of that day. It was probably because I only slept a couple hours the last night. Alice was in fact sick that day, and that was the only thing I kept in my mind. Everything else went through one ear and out the next.

* * *

"Dad, can I sleep in your room tonight?" I questioned.

"Of course." Both of us had a hard time fitting in his twin bed, but we managed to make it work somehow. I hugged his arm.

My dad's room was painted blue, and there wasn't very much to look at. He was still unpacking things. To be fair, most of the belongings left in his bags were picture books of when we were younger. The carpet, like the one in my room, was fluffy and white. Kinda stereotypical.

"I told your mother about what happened last night," my dad informed me. "She thinks it's a good idea for you and your sisters to stay with her for a little while. Well, until the whole mess with Vanitas gets cleared up."

"Okay," I responded.

"If you ever need my help, just tell me alright? I can't bear to see anything bad happen to any of my daughters. Good night, Kairi." I closed my eyes, and my dad kept watch over me. The fact that I actually went to sleep that night shocked me more than anything.


	4. 9: Stepping Towards the Right Direction

With all that was going on, I forgot that my birthday was coming up in a week. Granted, I wasn't ever good with dates or with math. My school even said I had something called dyscalculia. I didn't know what the hell that was. My grades were dropping all around, but that was probably because I didn't sleep at night. It came to the point that my dad and mom decided to get me therapy. Wasn't therapy for crazy people? Was I really going insane over one event?

At this point, my mom basically dragged me to her house. I thought she was being overprotective. For I had no idea what Vanitas was really trying to do, my ignorant mind couldn't comprehend anything with common sense. All I knew was that I didn't want to go through it again. Oh, I forgot to mention that Tifa's husband's name was Cloud, and he was off in a war or something during all of this craziness. He would've been even harder on Vanitas than Tifa was if he was there right then. He was always hard on everyone. My mom didn't have the highest opinion of him because of that.

Speaking of my mom, let's just say she was weird. She was more out there in her youth, yet some of the childish behaviors still lingered. It annoyed me a lot. I still loved my mom, but she got on my nerves whenever she would mess up my hair by patting it.

* * *

Namine, Xion, and I look inside our mom's small apartment. We had been here before, but it wasn't that often that we visited here. There was a living room and kitchen connected for the first room you walked in. A bathroom was right be the entrance. When you went down a hallway on the left, two bedrooms and another bathroom awaited you.

The floor was a black carpet in the living room, and it changed in the kitchen to a brown made of hardwood. In the bathrooms, there was only white tile, nothing special. All the walls in the apartment were white. For my mom was still new here, the landlords wouldn't give Yuffie the right to paint until a couple more months. It was just a normal living place which was unlike our mom...

* * *

"Oh my God, all of you are here! I'm so happy!" Before any of us could run away, my mom gave the three of us a big group hug and kissed us on the top of our foreheads. Like most children at this age, I thought it was annoying. I wasn't the biggest fan of kisses, but hugs were okay in my book.

"Calm down," Namine said. Yuffie patted my twin sister's head, and her blonde hair went all over the place. "I'm pretty sure some people stared at you in the hallway." I quickly closed the door behind all of us.

"Do you know you're talking to the great and powerful Yuffie?"

"You're our mom," I responded.

"Kairi, that was a joke." Xion stayed quiet, looking at the screen of her DS yet again. She was pressing a lot of buttons on her portable controller. "How about all of you make yourselves at home? I hope you like this place. We'll do more girl stuff because we're all girls here!"

"Awesome!" I seemed to be the only one pleased at that statement, for Namine and Xion weren't into that type of stuff as much as me. Namine hurried to the bathroom to fix her hair though.

"So, Xion, how is school so far?" my mom asked.

"Okay."

"Kairi, what do you want to do for your birthday. I'm going to ask Namine the same thing when she gets out. We're going to make it awesome this year since this is the big one o." Silence occupied the room. I wasn't really thinking much about that, so I was pretty clueless about what to do. Other things filled my train of thought.

"I don't know."

"Then your dad and I are going to figure things out. It'll be awkward since we just divorced, but I think that we should still be friends. I mean, we've to move on from our pasts and go forward in life. If we linger on things too long, then that'll be boring. I hate boring!"

"Mom, you're ranting again-"

"People who are boring much have such pathetic lives because all you do is be bored all the time! I think I'm being sidetracked again, right, Kairi?" Slapping my head, I nodded. My mom punched me slightly in response.

"What was that for?"

"Being down in the dumps. You've to let yourself be happy, or all you're going to do in your life is be miserable. That's one way to experience damnation in my eyes," she explained, flipping her short black hair. It was clear who Xion looked like in the family, unlike Namine and I. We were like the milkman's children or something. Okay, Namine did dye her hair blonde, but her natural hair was red like mine.

* * *

Later on that day, I sat with my mom in the waiting room for my therapist. All the seats were red, and they were comfortable. The walls were painted a brown with a hint of yellow and white. All of the walls were inspirational posters telling people stuff like never give up and be yourself.

"Ms. Kairi Leonhart, Dr. de Grue would like to see you." I got up, and I followed the random worker to the room I was being treated in. On the front, it read that this was the office of Aqua de Grue. That was certainly an interesting name to say the least. It was probably Latin or something.

* * *

"Take a seat, Kairi," Aqua said, pointing at a white couch in front of her single seat. Before my therapist could start talking, I used the time to examine my surroundings once again. Underneath both of our chairs, there was a dark blue rug that matched with the light blue walls. There were photos of Aqua all over the place, but I noticed a lot of them had a man in them. His face didn't stay in my memory for long though. I figured he and Aqua were dating.

Aqua had brown hair with blue highlights, making her stand out. Her face was one of a youth in her twenties, so she was probably older than she looked to have this job. Like my eyes, Aqua's were blue. She was wearing a blue suit that complimented her black boots.

"May I ask why you or your parents wanted you here? Is it because of their divorce? A lot of kids actually come here for that."

"No, umm...how do I say this? My cousin, Vanitas...tried to do something when I was asleep. Yeah..."

"Okay, before you reveal any more information, I should get the chance to know you a little better." She handed me some paper, a hard book about drugs or something like that, and some crayons to draw with. I figured what she meant, and I drew something I can't remember. There was a lot of black in it though. Aqua observed me for the whole time, documenting my movements.

"You know, a lot can be told about a person by what they draw. I'm actually an art therapist, so you'll get to do a lot of fun stuff with me! Whatever you want though since you're the client."

"Alright," I responded. "My sister is the better artist though."

"Don't worry, in here that really doesn't matter. Just be comfortable and I'll try to help you with your problems." The brunette smiled, so I did too. She did have a sweet one after all. "There's a lot of dark colors I see. That's a warning sign of depression, but it's probably because you just experienced the event."

"Really?" Now I was curious. I used to not give a single shit about psychology, but something about this seemed interesting. It was like diving into the recesses of the human mind by just looking at a drawing.

"Like I said before, art tells the viewer a lot of things. Pictures are worth a thousand words. Now I want to know more about you and your beliefs and stuff. Like tell me about your family some more."

* * *

That were better than I expected. From everything I saw from television, I thought it was going to be very different. I was wrong though, and I saw that therapy did get a really bad rep because of lies. That's one thing I hated from media, lies. Even if it's for escapism, I can't stand all the fucking lies. Shows from my youth tried to teach me that learning was fun. Learning was and still is stupid and boring. I might have bad place at that time, but that's how I felt. My optimist personality didn't show up for a long time after this. I was still a child though.


	5. 9: EGO Got Ad Diem Caesar

This was hell at it's finest. Well, you don't know what I'm talking about, but, trust me, I've experienced hell and heaven. If you thought the things I already told you were bad, then your mind is going to break. I mean, I'm over it now, yet I remained broken for a long time. Of course, I have a lot of nightmares about it. My love helps me through them though, so I'm glad to have him be there for me. Plus, my children need somebody that's strong to look up to because I can't help any of them with math homework.

I was still naive. I told myself that there's nothing to fear. Now there's nothing to fear, but back then I should have been paranoid. My life was getting back on track though. Plus, my birthday was coming up. I was almost ten, and I was really hyped for finally getting double numbers in my name. I sucked at counting. I REALLY sucked at counting. I still suck at counting.

* * *

"Good night," my mom told us, kissing our foreheads as usual. Like I told you before, I really didn't like that. I wanted to look out a window, but my room at mom's house was void of one near my bed. The only one was covered by a curtain patterned with white silk. Even if the apartment was two bedrooms, the other one had been converted to a 'fun' room where my mom put really cool stuff in.

"Okay, I'll try." Xion and Namine slept on the same bed while I was on the couch in mom's room. Yuffie was sleeping on the sofa in the family room. "But, mommy, can you tell me a bed time story?"

"Sure, Xion," replied Yuffie. I could already hear Namine snoring. Her snores were pretty loud, and Namine had no idea about that. Once Vanitas even recorded a video of her sleeping just for shit and giggles when we were kids. Now I know that wasn't the complete truth, but that asshole was slightly decent as a child.

"Once upon a time, there was a ninja called the great and powerful Yuffie! She was totally awesome and kicked all kinds of bad guy butt. Everybody in the world knew her name from heart. They would always depend on the ninja Yuffie whenever there was a dragon stealing princes from their castles late at night..."

* * *

There was a tombstone, just a random one. It had no name, no important markings. I knew for a fact that it wasn't mine. This was just a normal grave surrounded by gravel. A topaz appeared in my hands, but, when I realized it, the stone broke into billions of pieces. They all fell onto my feet. After that, the floor broke like the stone, so I began to fall. My hands gasped for anything to no avail. Suddenly, my ass got grabbed by millions of hands. They started to do...things to me. Things involving my vagina to say the least. This lasted for hours on end, and I could swear they were saying something like...now you know how it feels, whore whore whore. It really made my hair stand on end.

"Oh my God! What the hell?" Then another hand grabbed me, but I could feel that it was indeed real. I saw that the window to my room had been opened. "Get out of me, you freak!" I knew it was Vanitas. It had to be Vanitas. Like last time, I flung my legs around, making a mess out of everything. I realized that I made hardly any noise. Before I could wake anyone up though, I felt a towel being applied to my mouth. There was something on there that made me go back to sleep in a matter of seconds. Serah, Alice, mom, dad, Namine, Xion, Sora...Riku...

* * *

When I woke up again, I realized I was in a dark room with no windows. There was a single light bulb in the room, giving off the smallest glimmer of light. I rushed over to the door, but it was locked. I had no idea how to pick locks. I banged on the door the hardest my little hands could muster. "Somebody get me out of here!" No response. "No, please, somebody, at least tell me where I am! Screw you, Vanitas!" Seeing no hope, I began to cry. Any nine year old would break in that situation. Seriously, ask yourself what would you do in a hopeless battle like that?

I waited for hours to see something else other than that boring light bulb and the completely white, wooden door. Those things were the only things in the room. There was this rat hole in the ground, but I couldn't fit in there no matter what. There was only one moment I saw a rat. I was truly kidnapped. "What...what's happening? Mommy...Daddy, I want out! MOMMY, DADDY!" They had to realize by now that I was missing. I was nowhere in mom and dad's house on a Sunday, so they had to be worried sick about me. Namine and Xion went to church alongside me, so they had to be awake by now."Can anyone tell me what I'm here for? What's my captor going to do?"

"That was harder than I expected it would be. No matter, time to face hell, Kairi." Vanitas walked into the room, and I rushed towards the door. He slammed it shut right before I reached it. My face smashed into the door, making me have a massive headache. "Too slow."

"I don't want to-"

"Too bad!" He kicked me right in the stomach, and I knelled over in absolute pain. I landed on the floor near the rat hole. A rat's eye meet with mine. Vanitas grabbed my red hair with his left hand, and it really hurt.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I honestly have no idea, for it's what my heart's telling me to do. It's good to listen to your heart, right?" he answered, a smirk on his face. "Gotta at least do one thing wrong as well when you're still young. What's the purpose of life if you do nothing during it?" He began to slap my face, over and over again. I wanted to cry, but I held my tears in. Even at that age, I knew my cousin was turned on by the misery of others.

"How about you kick your own ass then?" I questioned, trying to sound cool. In reality, I had no idea what I was saying.

"No." Vanitas started to take down my pants again, and I panicked. I kicked him where it hurts. Then I pointed out that there was some type of sticking out of his pocket.

"Crap..."

"This is your punishment for doing that." He bought out the tape and began with my mouth. With it on, I could only make murmurs. Then he bound my arms and legs.

"Mmmmm!" Honestly, I don't remember much after that. I'm pretty sure my mind blocked it out. All I have left in my memory was absolute agony. Whatever he did, it really hurt. Vanitas' sadistic smile hunts me to this day. I wondered why he could be so thrilled by causing his own flesh and blood pain.

* * *

"Remember, Kairi, this was your fault." He opened the door again, and I could see the outdoors. The trees were so beautiful when they glimmered in the sunlight. As fast as the daylight came to my eager eyes, it left them, leaving me in complete darkness. Vanitas forgot to turn the light back on. I guessed he turned it off when he was doing the things that I blocked out of my memory.

It was so damn cold in there. I was in my PJs, and I was wearing my shoes. My feet were getting so numb. Too bad I couldn't even get up to warm them up then. Because of that goddamn tape, everything began to be impossible. It was so bad I had to pee in my underwear. I was starting to lose hope in everything. That's how bad it was in that place, but it had only been one day. Children are easy to succumb to these type of things after all.

"Mommy...Daddy...help me." The tape was still on my mouth, so it didn't come up as that. It was more like random sounds attempting to make a voice. I tried to move myself to the door, but I ran out of energy. My asthma set in, making me cough uncontrollably. All my spit traveled back into my mouth. The spit made me want to puke, yet I knew that would only make things worst than they already were.


	6. 10: The Land of the Free

You know what, sanity is like a piece of thread. Even if it can hold many things, once it gets cut, it's over. Quite poetic is it?

Honestly, most of my memories of that place have been blocked out. Thank God. That place was truly horrible, and I'm lucky that I'm still alive! Do you want to know how hard it was to survive in hell, feeding only on random things you found there? Where the only smell that greeted you was that of your filth and the rats with you? Where you could only see the slightest amount of light seeking past the door, trying to get in? You couldn't even see that tough, for you were literally blind with that tape. That's why I can't go anywhere near it, or I'll think that Vanitas is going to come out and take me away again. Then somebody would've to break me out of my trance since they get worried about me. I hate getting panic attacks because of what my cousin did to me.

You see, I'm pretty sure he did naughty things to my body. Luckily, my period hadn't started yet, so the worst case scenario couldn't have happened. I'm pretty dang lucky still to be able to have children. Most people in that situation would've lost it because of the lack of food there. In some ways, I'm the most goddamn luckiest person in the world, but I'm unlucky too. I wouldn't have experienced all that hell if I was a luck magnet. I'm saying luck a lot, ain't I? Guess that's kind of the theme I'm going for with these words.

Let's just say my brain blocked those memories out for my own sanity.

* * *

My hands played around with the door handle, attempting to open it. I don't know how much time had passed since I was kidnapped by my own flesh and blood. The sick thing was that Vanitas took away my shoes. Now I knew that I was about to get frost bite or something, and that was probably going to cause me even more pain. Heck, my hair was so oily that it made sounds whenever I touched it. I could also feel my rib cage being surrounded by only the smallest amount of fat or muscle. He didn't give me anything to eat after all. The only things I feed on were the rats that had their bodies rotting in that room. Then, I realized the hopelessness of my original plan, so I began to pound my head against the door. There had to be someone around here.

I waited and waited, doing the same thing again and again, creating a cycle of endless pain that kept repeating.

This continued for hours on end. The pain was so great that it made me cry, but I kept doing it anyways. There must be somebody just wondering around the area! A rat ran on my dirtied foot. If this was before, I would've screamed and ran the hell away. Rats were the only things that kept me pleasurable company then. I heard the crunch of some leaves outside, so I was filled with hope. It could've been Vanitas though. I didn't care. A random person could come save me like a princess. Not like I wanted that to happen, but anything was better than that small room.

"Kairi, I've something for you." It was Vanitas. I could recognize his black hair and yellow eyes from anywhere. Dammit.

* * *

"It's your birthday, so I did have to do something. I remember my tenth birthday, it was shit. All we did was throw a party, but, you know what, I really hate parties or any social gatherings like them. My smile was forced for the entire day. Tifa didn't realize my agony, and she even thought I was having a good time. She gave me a journal and other things. The journal is the only thing I still know about or even used. Cloud wasn't even there, for he was fighting in a war like he always does. He never really cared for me much anyways, it's always Ventus, Sora, and Roxas is his eyes."

"The only thing I want is my freedom, not your life story," I responded, glaring. He couldn't see it, but I did it anyways. Doing it helped me control my feelings of rebellion.

"That's asking for too much." He lifted me up, and I could feel myself going onto a chair. Vanitas unbound my feet just to attach them to the legs. My hands were also placed on the arms of the chair. Then he took the tape covering my blue eyes and pink mouth, and I noticed the place was exactly the same expect for two things. Him doing this hurt me a little bit, yet it didn't even compare to all the other stuff he committed. The first item I saw was the chair decorated with white and rush. It had a detailed pattern of a flower on the back. There was also a table that matched my seat.

"So, is this it?" I asked. "I kinda deserve more, for you did attack me and put me here. Could you at least give me something that a normal person would eat or play with? That's probably asking for too much though, considering what you said before."

"Shut up." He slapped me across my face, but, this time, I didn't fall over. My cousin then stormed through the door and locked it quickly. Before he closed it though, I could see snow falling onto the ground. It's flakes sparkled with the light being reflected off them. The image was truly a sight to behold. "Now I'm not going to do anything to you. It's a miracle you're still alive."

"Eating dead rats is the only reason I'm still here."

"You're smarter than I thought you were, but that's not going to help you for much longer. Well, cuz, happy tenth birthday. I hope that you'll finally die soon." He left, leaves being destroyed yet again by his feet.

"Wait..." He really shouldn't have left that chair in that room. "I've an idea." I could actually rip the tape out, for I knew he put less of it on. Vanitas was either becoming cocky or running out of that substance. "Yes! It actually worked. Thank you chair, you're the most awesome thing ever! I'll never speak badly about your type again!" So, I grabbed the chair with the little power I had left, relying on adenine. My chest was hurting, but I didn't care. This was the only chance I had to escape. "Fucker, you shouldn't have underestimated me."

With the chair in my little hands, I pounded it against the door. It wasn't the strongest door, so it opened. "Is this really happening? Am I in some kind of dream or something?" I pinched myself, and I felt it. This was indeed the happiness moment of my life, even beyond my marriage and raising my children. I rushed out of there, hoping to never see that room again. The snow on my bare feet felt refreshing even if they were getting bitten by the coldness. They weren't black yet.

My eyes wondered around in awe at all the trees around me. There was a small storage shed, and I guessed that was where I was being kept. A house that was falling apart was behind it. Vanitas stared at me in the front window. My eyes dilated when his yellow eyes meet them. He was running out of the abandoned house, so I traveled as fast as my legs would allow me.

* * *

We were in the middle of a forest, yet I noticed that there was an actual public walkway in front of me. A freshly put warning sign about snakes told me that. Vanitas was on my tail. I ran onto it because I hoped that anyone would see me. There was nobody on it. I forced my legs to carry me over, but my asthma caused me to fall over. Determined, I tried to crawl away. Vanitas caught up to me though. Then I prayed to God that I would be saved from experiencing any more of the events that transpired in that small storage shed.

"Got you, bitch," he whispered in my right ear. His breathing felt unusual, and then he licked it. I hated his slimy tongue.

"No, I won't allow this." Vanitas caught me by my hair, and started dragging me against the hard rock. My knees started to bled, and there was a trail of blood following up to me. Tiny rocks entered through my skin, making me yell out. I was tired of being tortured like this.

"Shut up! Somebody might notice you!" he shouted while reaching out his hand to cover my mouth. "Kairi, stop it!" He kept dragging me in this position. My legs flailed around as I attempted to get free from my cousin's gasp. _Mom...Dad...Namine...Xion_, I thought, _I was so close to being in your loving arms again, but I lost this battle._

"...You win." When I looked up, I saw that Vanitas smirked. He began to laugh like something that wasn't human. It was demented. My cousin must have gone insane, but I didn't know why. Why could he do this if he had a caring family? "Is something funny?"

"I just waited a really long time for you to finally give up, Kairi. After months of waiting, it seems like you gave in. Come on, you're going into your little cell again and rot there," Vanitas answered, still smiling.

"Oh my God!" Then, I stared, shocked. A group of people were all dressed up, probably walking on their nearby trail, and their dog was barking like crazy. Tears filled up in my eyes, ones of happiness.


	7. 10: Happiness

You don't know what true happiness until you fall through the saddest depths of hell. Of course, I had to learn that the hard way, or I'll probably not be talking to you right now. I never want to eat a dead rat and drink it's blood and urine again. It was like I was a bird locked in a cage, and there was no way out but death. Then, when I was about to lose hope and accept fate, a hand came in and saved me.

I'll never lose my love for those people, those random people. Without even wanting to do so, this family of strangers became my hero. Even if I had opened the cage myself, they allowed me to spread my wings. The little robin is now happy because of the kindness in their hearts.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?" the mom with fairly dark skin cried out, covering her small daughter's brown eyes. They were an African American family. Their dog was a german shepherd with beautiful brown fur.

"Mommy, that's a bad word-"

"Gracie, not now. Tell me, young man, what the hell are you doing?" Vanitas glared at them, an angry expression written all over his face. Nothing came out of his mouth. "Girl, what you alright? If not, nod your head." I did that action.

"I'm calling the police right now!" the man told his wife. He quickly got out the phone, but Vanitas whipped it out of his hands because he finally let go of my hair. I stayed on the ground, not knowing what to do. The phone broke when it hit the ground. "Honey, get out your phone. I've to teach this kid a thing or two about manners." He let go of the leash of his dog, so it tried to leap on my cousin.

"Bad dog...just stay down," he commanded, moving his hands before him. "Attacking strangers isn't a good thing to do."

"Somebody's being a hypocrite!" Vanitas stared me down after I voiced my opinion. I place my hands at the level of my eyes.

"Mommy, Daddy, what's happening? Why was that man licking her ear anyways? Why are the police coming? Why does that girl look so beaten?" Gracie asked. The young girl's voice was quivering. "I want to go home." The mom pulled out her cellphone, and her fingers typed in the number as soon as possible. Vanitas was too busy fighting off the dad and dog.

"...Somebody come quick...I don't know what's happening, but my family and I just found this man attacking a little girl in Pulchram Park!...She has red hair, pale skin, and blue eyes, why do you ask me that, for a missing person report or something?...Really, this girl has been missing for a couple months now! Abducted! Oh my God, I didn't know that! She doesn't look in the best shape though."

"Stop talking bitch!" When he got the chance, Vanitas threw himself on the woman adult, making her phone hit the ground and crash. The little girl tried to yank him off her the moment they fell on the ground.

"Nobody does that to my wife!" the man shouted. He kicked Vanitas in the face, so the teenager's nose began to bleed a little. The dog jumped on him as well. Vanitas ran, and then I felt him grab me by the neck. My black-haired cousin easily lifted me from the ground.

"If you come after us, this girl will die." I could barely breath, but words failed to escape my mouth as I struggled to break free. My legs were flailing around like always. "But, I do need to punish you for calling the police. They might actually find me."

"You little brat!" The man did not care, for he was not fully convinced by the kidnapper's words. Vanitas tightened his grip. There was no air getting to my head now, and everything started to blur. Then, as if destiny called it, the last thing I saw was a bunch of F.B.I agents. Vanitas let go, for he tried to run away.

* * *

When I woke up, I noticed I was in a plain room, but there was a television set playing the current basketball game. Neither of the teams were ones that I personally rooted for. One of the teams were in a great lead though. There were also tubes all over my body and a mask over the mouth. A machine monitored my heartbeat.

"Ms. Leonhart, you're finally awake. Your family just missed you," a nurse said, coming over to me. She had a clipboard in her pale hands. Her blonde hair was really short, and her eyes were colored brown. I turned my head slightly to notice some lilacs on the table beside me. On the note near it, hope you get better soon was written on it followed by a smile. It was in Xion's rather messy handwriting. "Oh, I think I should mention you've been out for a couple weeks actually. When the police found you, you were on the verge of dying. Your parents and sisters were so happy to find out that you weren't dead."

"That would make sense," I responded. The girl didn't hear me though since it was so faint. "What exactly was wrong with me?"

"Doctor, Ms. Leonhart is awake!" Like before, she failed to notice anything told to her. I just rolled my blue eyes, and then noticed a mirror by me. What I saw was basically a skeleton. My hair was falling out, so a low amount of it stayed on my head. There were bruises and hickeys all over the place.

"I'm ugly," I whispered to myself while wanting to place my head under the blanket. Before I went through with it, my doctor walked in. He had simple brown hair that was the same color of his eyes. His skin was slightly more tan than the nurse beside him.

"You're one lucky kid to survive that, for I think most people would've starved to death in there," he complemented. "Most people in your situation would be broken to pieces now as well. I guess you're emotionally stable considering the events you just went through."

"Your point-" Once again, I didn't speak loudly enough.

"We also found some...disturbing things in your stomach." The doctor fixed his glasses. "It caused some problems, but I think they're all solved now." Then, without me listening, they stated everything I already knew at the time. It was like they forgot I experienced them first hand.

"Get on with it," I complained, staring at my gift. Just seeing hints of Xion put a smile on my face.

"...Anyways, your parents were so worried about you, and I called them when Nurse Shell bought me the news. They seem to be overjoyed to know that you're finally awake. As for Vanitas Strife, he is going through court this very moment." I was so relieved to hear that, yet I thought it would have been over already. Whatever, I told myself, at least he isn't on the streets though. At least he's not putting any other of my sisters through the hell I experienced.


	8. 10: Awaiting Results

**Requiem-Okay, let me get this clear, if there is not enough support for this story, I'll cancel it. This is one of the hardest stories to write because of its dark subject matter, and it's sad to see so little people support it. This story was mainly to show awareness about serious issues like incest and whatnot. Even if it's not to write sometimes, I still enjoy this story and love it to no end. **

**Alright, enough with the long AN, let's continue the** **story.**

* * *

It's hard to explain what exactly I felt during those times. Not because it's hard to describe, but people refuse to listen. They threat you like some child just because of a traumatic event, not getting a shit about how you actually feel. I hate people who pity. Pity is so dehumanizing.

Anyways, the pain didn't stop there. Well, people still only define me from that one event, but that doesn't mean that was the only thing bad that happened to me. Oh no, the Hell was only beginning.

I just didn't realize it. Nobody realized it.

* * *

"Kairi!" My mother squeezed me, not even letting go a little bit. "Sweetie, are you okay? Don't worry, that jerk will pay! He has to pay!" Tears fell down from her brown eyes, and Yuffie did not stop.

"Mom..." Again, my voice hardly escaped my system. It was worst because a certain somebody wouldn't let up.

"I'm not letting go of you again! I'll stay awake all night if that's what I've to do to keep you safe!"

"Where are Namine and Xion?" I asked. Since she was really close to me, Yuffie actually heard.

"They're at school, you know. The schools are being mean and not letting them go even though I keep begging them. I think having a sister who has finally waken up from a coma after she got kidnapped is a good enough reason to leave."

"Figures." My eyes looked down onto the floor. Yuffie finally loosened her grip on me, so I could breathe normally again. But, who could blame her for being like that? I was kidnapped for a long time, being raped and tortured everyday!

"You've to stay here a bit longer, okay? I've to leave, for the court session is starting soon. I've to make sure Vanitas sees the pits of Hell after all he's done to you."

* * *

**Requiem-Sorry for the short chapter, but I still just want to see if this story will ever get some love! Come on guys, support this! PLEASE! **


	9. ADOPTION NOTICE

**Requiem-Hello, this is Requiem here. Yeah, there's an announcement to make.**

**This story is going up for adoption. Why? Because I'm overloading myself with too many stories right now. I'm so sad because I loved this project so much. BUT I WON'T LET IT DIE!**

**If this story doesn't get adopted, I'll probably rewrite the whole thing in about 1-5 years. It depends. But there's no way I'm just letting this die and fade!**

**For those who are interested in adopting this story, please contact me. Thank you very much! :D **


End file.
